Lulu's trying to stay pregnant

Today I'm grateful for...

Having Daddy time with the boys
Back feeling good
My Zero Gravity chair
A fantastic life
Baby Lourdes and Lulu doing well

Lulu has been keeping her spirits up under the circumstances. She's trying so hard to stay pregnant, so Baby Lourdes can develop, grow, and be born and will not have to spend time in the Neonatal intensive care unit. Starting at around 8 PM Lulu begins to have feelings of premature contractions, though they are small and greatly spaced. No one seemed to concerned at the time, but more tested were ordered.

I have been visiting Lulu daily in room #7, and I would stay for as long as possible. If anyone has been in a similar situation you could understand those conflicting feelings between being there for my wife and unborn daughter, and taking care of the three boys that need attention. I knew that I needed to be there for the boys as the school year at Snows was ending and there were lunches to make, teeth to brush, clothes to wash, arguments to break up, graduations to attend (kindergrarden for Thomas), and baths to take (if only on occasion). I was really enjoying the quality time I got to spend with the boys, though we were all sad that their Mom couldn't enjoy this time together.

I found myself really enjoying the patient care at the office and the re-acquaintance with many of the patients that I had shared with Dr. Molina over the 10 years that we practiced together. I had missed more of the last two years with back issues (having two back surgeries). I found my day would consist of getting to the office by either 6:15 or 7:15 leaving by 5 to St. Mary's to visit Lulu and pray with her that Baby Lourdes wouldn't be born yet.

I was very grateful that we have such a great team at Dentistry for Kids and equally fantastic patients and their parents. With all the changing of the schedule, both the office team and the parents were more than understanding when even on short notice we had to re-schedule their child's appointment(s). Our parents were also very accommodating when we had asked them to see Dr. Wilkerson instead of Dr. Molina.

Knowing people were being so understanding helped immensely to reduce the stresses of the situation. We will never fully be able to return the incredible understanding and caring that we've received.

The night ended and a new day, June 1, sprang upon us. We were unprepared for what the first day of the new month had in store for us.

Origins for the name Lourdes Elizabeth

Today I'm grateful for...
Lulu not having the baby yet
Wonderful patients and their parents
Very happy boys
My Mother being close and helping us during this time
Warm and sunny weather

Today the goal becomes quite simply, stay pregnant. Lulu is settling into her reality that she must be on constant monitoring for the baby and that means staying in the hospital until she's born.

We had a number of doctors visit her in room #7, from the OB to the on call placental doctor. They made a choice that a ultrasound was needed to determine the status of Baby Lourdes.

The ultrasound was completed and we knew that the baby was in trouble just by the look on the physicians face and the seriousness of the recommendations for the baby. It turned out that the bleeding Lulu was having (and to this point wasn't resolving) was must likely related to a tear in the placenta, and Lulu's amniotic fluid was nearly non-existent. The doctors fear was that Baby Lourdes might become entangled in the umbilical cord? It was then determined that Lulu would have to not only remain in the hospital bed and be monitored, also she would be limited to positions that she could lay in. No getting out of bed for any reason (including bathroom breaks, washing, and such). On the bright side, the next three months would give Lulu time to think about the future and what was important for her, and appreciate her husband (ha ha).

Today we discussed names for the new girl to be born. Thomas and Carter have her named "Baby Lisa" for the last 3 months, and Lulu has come up with a number of ideas from Elizabeth to ??? I had always thought that naming the baby after Lulu would be a way to carry on the Hispanic heritage that her Mom and grandmother had named her, so I suggested naming the new baby "Lourdes" being Lulu's middle name. When I first said that I thought that she should be named Lourdes, she didn't speak, and I later learned that she thought that I was be fictitious? When I later re-introduced the idea I could tell that my wife was very emotionally moved by the suggestion, and thus the name Lourdes Elizabeth Wilkerson was born and was to become her name.

Little did we realize she would be using this name much earlier then anyone thought?

Could there be issues with the baby?

Today I'm grateful for.....
Having sunny weather
Working with dedicated employees daily
That it is springtime, finally
Having food to eat everyday
Healthy Kids

Lulu sees the OB in the afternoon to check her, due to cramping and generally feeling very poorly. She had been having issues with excessive fatigue and was having a difficult time at the office with patient care.

After doing a ultrasound and a pre-term labor test (which was negative) the OB felt that this was a normal pregnancy and that Lulu should follow up if her conditions worsened. Lulu and I left feeling that the symptoms she was experiencing were normal, though she never had these in her first three pregnancies?

Today I'm grateful for.....
Having sunny weather
Working with dedicated employees daily
That it is springtime, finally
Having food to eat everyday
Healthy Kids

Lulu sees the OB in the afternoon to check her, due to cramping and generally feeling very poorly. She had been having issues with excessive fatigue and was having a difficult time at the office with patient care.

After doing a ultrasound and a pre-term labor test (which was negative) the OB felt that this was a normal pregnancy and that Lulu should follow up if her conditions worsened. Lulu and I left feeling that the symptoms she was experiencing were normal, though she never had these in her first three pregnancies?

Going into the hospital

Today I'm grateful for...
Feeling good
God guiding me in my life's decisions
A caring wife to share my struggles with
Happy, fun, and well adjusted kids
Family to share those happy moments

While enjoying the Reno Ace's game with Carter and Thomas (our first ever), I received a phone call just as the game was interrupted by lightning and rain (yes I know it never rains in Reno in late May, but this year was the exception. It actually rained everyday in May). Lulu sounded distressed about having some bleeding for the last hour and was concerned about the babies health, I packed up the kids and we begrudgingly left the suspended game early to get home.

Upon arriving 30 minutes later (just barely missing getting soaked by a large downpour) Lulu seemed to be feeling better and she said that she was going to hold off on going to the emergency department, but may want to see the OB on monday to get checked?

I was awoken at about 4 AM as Lulu was having moderate to a heavy amount of bleeding and she felt that "something was wrong" and she felt that she needed to be seen right away. As I stayed with the three boys, Lulu drove herself to St. Mary's and walked into Labor and delivery for a examination.

The staff at St. Mary's felt strongly that she stay for monitoring through the rest of the night and part of the morning on the 23.

I arrived at about 8 AM after getting some "emergency grandmother help" to watch the boys, I sat with Lulu through a battery of tests and baby monitoring. By about 12 noon the OB physician and the pregnancy/placental specialist made the determination that Lulu would need to stay in the Labor and Delivery department until she delivered the baby. (her due date was September 1). I remembered thinking yeah right lulu's going to lay here in bed for the next three months until the baby is born, they better have some good drugs? Then just as I was recovering from the three months in bed shock, I remember Lulu asking the doctor, "Can I just go home and get together some clothes and a few personal items"? She was told that she wasn't going anywhere (including the bathroom) until the baby was born. Wow, talk about shaking up our life?

Little did we know that this was only the start to a adventure that would end up helping us to discover Lulu's breast cancer.

Background to the whole story

As most of you know, God is a large part of the Molina-Wilkerson's family life and he has been holding our hands, guiding us through this difficult life transition.

I wanted to share our daily challenges, thoughts, and what we are thankful for? I will start every journal entry with my daily "Gratitude Journal Entry", (even in the face of adversity we always have positive events that touch our lives, these are the actual text from my gratitude journal that I've been keeping for a long time) followed by the days events, and then end with our feelings and thoughts about that day.I think that you are going to learn a lot about the Molina-Wilkerson's and what makes our family so special?

Most of you will know that Lulu and I have been married for 12 years (April 26, 1997, I added this because I wanted my wife to know that I do actually remember the date). Though, we have been together for more then 16 years. We have three healthy, fun loving boys; Carter (8 years old, and will be starting the 4th grade at Our Lady of the Snows), Thomas (6 years old, and will be a 1st grader at Snows), Hamilton (he will tell you that he's 5, but he's only 2.5 years old), and then the newest addition Lourdes (which much of this journal will be about her). I'm writing this for a few reasons;

1. Documentation of the specific feelings and thoughts that we have been and will be experiencing.

2. Keeping friends, family, and our patients informed about what we are experiencing.

3. Sharing the way that God presents in our life's, and how much that has helped us cope with these trying times.

I have taken inspiration from a number of sources the first being my wife and as you'll see her incredible strength facing adversity. Something I've just learning about my wife and that I never anticipated or seen before now. Secondly, I have read and re-read a few books that have motivated me to be a better father, husband, and in general a just a better human being? I was greatly moved by Randy Pausch's The Last Lecture, Michelle Nichols Hug Your Kids Today; and the movie 7 Pounds with Will Smith. As these in themselves are all sad stories but they have meaning to them, and they can teach us that we can give more of our selves more often, and spend less time worrying about he small stuff, and more about what it means to love our immediate friends and family.

Also, how each of us can change the world one person at a time.With that being said, I truly will be writing from the heart, and I hope that in a way this will help you as I know it will be a great outlet for me to share my true thoughts.