Today I'm grateful for...
For the change of seasons
Spending most of the day with my oldest Carter
Holding and feeding Lourdes (along with writing this)
Watching Hamilton grow right before our eyes into a small boy
I know that it has been almost a full week since I started this second addition of the Molina-Wilkerson Caringbridge journal, but I've been battling some difficult emotions. I have wanted to put most of the weeks events onto paper, but can't seem to motivate the creative side of me. I've been bordering on falling into an depressive abyss, and the amount of stress on me is beginning to wear me down. A wife with huge health issues, a new baby that's taking some getting adjusted too, surgeries scheduled for November and December, a structural issue at the office that looks as if it will only be resolved with a law suit, a depressed economy and drop in patient numbers at the office, soon to have two of three doctors out of the office and only me seeing patients, tightening finances, a truck on the market that I need to sell to help pay medical bills, and the never ending staffing issues. Even a normally very positive person, as I am, can occasionally be dragged down by circumstances. As I type this though, I can feel the hopeful voice of the angel speaking to me about all the positive things presently in my life. He's was sent here to remind me that I have many great things to be thankful for like; having a back that's feeling better then ever, very healthy kids, lots of family and friends supporting us, a job to go to everyday (or the three days I work), food on the table, Lulu's cancer responding to treatment, a nice house to come home to everyday, and a healthier, skinnier me. Funny how we things seem the bleakest, for me, that's when I can see the clearest? We've had some really positive things happen this last week.
First, Lourdes is a women of the city. She's getting out almost daily. To Sunday mass, the bi-weekly Walmart trips, doctor's appointments, a trip to Lake Tahoe (though I don't think that she was impressed with the beautiful scenery there, seeing that she mostly sleep or cried?), and even to a party. Lourdes is beginning to fall into a better feeding sleeping pattern (we're getting up two times/night), and we joyful for that. She's growing up right before our eyes (Lulu's said that she is up to 8 pounds now). I can see her starting college already. Grandma Nelly (Lulu's Mom) has been getting a lot of quality time with Lourdes, but will soon be returning to Puerto Rico. It will be interesting to see how Lulu and I cope with her?
Second, I got to attend a dental meeting in SF on Thursday and Friday AM. Since Lulu was to have treatment in the city this week, I thought that it would be good to get some continuing education also? The California Dental Association was having their annual meeting at the Moscone Center downtown from Thursday to Sunday. Since we didn't want Lourdes to drive in the car for 4.5 hours, and we didn't have overnight sitting for her, we decided that Lulu would fly into SF on Friday AM. I picked her up at 10:30 AM after attending a workshop at the meeting, and then we proceeded to UCSF for a oncologist appointment followed by the new chemotherapy regiment (Taxol). The doctor seemed very excited about the tumor response to the previous chemo treatments. It was encouraging that the size of the tumors have again reduced in size, and that the doctor thinks that they may even shrink more? The following chemotherapy appointment went quite smooth (though this new drug is administered over 4.5 hours in comparison to the previous 3 hours route). One of the concerns for Taxol is; some patients have a allergic reaction to it, so they closely monitored Lulu as they administered this first dosage. Lucky for us, Lulu didn't have any problems with reactions this first time. They also gave Lulu lots of Benadryl preop that would hopefully lesson the change of her having a reaction to the drugs? The Benadryl put Lulu into sleepy land, and I was afforded the opportunity to socialize with the other cancer patients getting their medications.
I introduced myself to an older gentleman being pushed around in a wheelchair by the name of Charles. Charles was visiting the infusion center, as I would find out, because he was having generalized weakness and difficultly breathing after his previous day's chemotherapy treatment. I could see his guardedness as I first ask him some introductory questions, but I also watch as he began to thaw out the more that I spoke. And as I present him with a hand written and illustrated, "Wishing you well" card from Carter and Thomas, I felt and watch him bubble up with delight. I also, noticed that 15 minutes later the paramedics had to be called to assist him as apparently he became more distressed during his stay? I was praying for my new friend Charles was he was whisked away to be stabilized before he got any worse. I truly hope that he is doing well, and that I have a chance to see him again soon?
I haven't seen Kate since Lulu's first chemotherapy treatment, and I found myself wondering how she's doing? Is she having a positive response to the drugs? Is she almost finished with her chemotherapy sessions? How does she look in her wig? Is she holing up OK? I was somehow wishing that I had gotten her last name, then I could secretly ask around for her (secretly so as the HIPPA police don't bust me or the hospital staff for breach of information). I believe that one of Lulu's next three treatments we'll meet again? I hope that I will recognize her?
For the change of seasons
Spending most of the day with my oldest Carter
Holding and feeding Lourdes (along with writing this)
Watching Hamilton grow right before our eyes into a small boy
I know that it has been almost a full week since I started this second addition of the Molina-Wilkerson Caringbridge journal, but I've been battling some difficult emotions. I have wanted to put most of the weeks events onto paper, but can't seem to motivate the creative side of me. I've been bordering on falling into an depressive abyss, and the amount of stress on me is beginning to wear me down. A wife with huge health issues, a new baby that's taking some getting adjusted too, surgeries scheduled for November and December, a structural issue at the office that looks as if it will only be resolved with a law suit, a depressed economy and drop in patient numbers at the office, soon to have two of three doctors out of the office and only me seeing patients, tightening finances, a truck on the market that I need to sell to help pay medical bills, and the never ending staffing issues. Even a normally very positive person, as I am, can occasionally be dragged down by circumstances. As I type this though, I can feel the hopeful voice of the angel speaking to me about all the positive things presently in my life. He's was sent here to remind me that I have many great things to be thankful for like; having a back that's feeling better then ever, very healthy kids, lots of family and friends supporting us, a job to go to everyday (or the three days I work), food on the table, Lulu's cancer responding to treatment, a nice house to come home to everyday, and a healthier, skinnier me. Funny how we things seem the bleakest, for me, that's when I can see the clearest? We've had some really positive things happen this last week.
First, Lourdes is a women of the city. She's getting out almost daily. To Sunday mass, the bi-weekly Walmart trips, doctor's appointments, a trip to Lake Tahoe (though I don't think that she was impressed with the beautiful scenery there, seeing that she mostly sleep or cried?), and even to a party. Lourdes is beginning to fall into a better feeding sleeping pattern (we're getting up two times/night), and we joyful for that. She's growing up right before our eyes (Lulu's said that she is up to 8 pounds now). I can see her starting college already. Grandma Nelly (Lulu's Mom) has been getting a lot of quality time with Lourdes, but will soon be returning to Puerto Rico. It will be interesting to see how Lulu and I cope with her?
Second, I got to attend a dental meeting in SF on Thursday and Friday AM. Since Lulu was to have treatment in the city this week, I thought that it would be good to get some continuing education also? The California Dental Association was having their annual meeting at the Moscone Center downtown from Thursday to Sunday. Since we didn't want Lourdes to drive in the car for 4.5 hours, and we didn't have overnight sitting for her, we decided that Lulu would fly into SF on Friday AM. I picked her up at 10:30 AM after attending a workshop at the meeting, and then we proceeded to UCSF for a oncologist appointment followed by the new chemotherapy regiment (Taxol). The doctor seemed very excited about the tumor response to the previous chemo treatments. It was encouraging that the size of the tumors have again reduced in size, and that the doctor thinks that they may even shrink more? The following chemotherapy appointment went quite smooth (though this new drug is administered over 4.5 hours in comparison to the previous 3 hours route). One of the concerns for Taxol is; some patients have a allergic reaction to it, so they closely monitored Lulu as they administered this first dosage. Lucky for us, Lulu didn't have any problems with reactions this first time. They also gave Lulu lots of Benadryl preop that would hopefully lesson the change of her having a reaction to the drugs? The Benadryl put Lulu into sleepy land, and I was afforded the opportunity to socialize with the other cancer patients getting their medications.
I introduced myself to an older gentleman being pushed around in a wheelchair by the name of Charles. Charles was visiting the infusion center, as I would find out, because he was having generalized weakness and difficultly breathing after his previous day's chemotherapy treatment. I could see his guardedness as I first ask him some introductory questions, but I also watch as he began to thaw out the more that I spoke. And as I present him with a hand written and illustrated, "Wishing you well" card from Carter and Thomas, I felt and watch him bubble up with delight. I also, noticed that 15 minutes later the paramedics had to be called to assist him as apparently he became more distressed during his stay? I was praying for my new friend Charles was he was whisked away to be stabilized before he got any worse. I truly hope that he is doing well, and that I have a chance to see him again soon?
I haven't seen Kate since Lulu's first chemotherapy treatment, and I found myself wondering how she's doing? Is she having a positive response to the drugs? Is she almost finished with her chemotherapy sessions? How does she look in her wig? Is she holing up OK? I was somehow wishing that I had gotten her last name, then I could secretly ask around for her (secretly so as the HIPPA police don't bust me or the hospital staff for breach of information). I believe that one of Lulu's next three treatments we'll meet again? I hope that I will recognize her?
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