Monday with the kids!

Today I'm grateful for...
Seeing the sun (we haven't seen the sun in Reno for months)
Believing in the future
The excitement of new discoveries with the kids
Seeing Lulu show and teach the boys about all she going through

Today started off so nice, and finished so stressful. Today, Monday, we had a plan to take the older boys Carter and Thomas to Mom's radiation appointment at the cancer clinic. Lulu really wanted the kids to be here to see why she has been spending so much time away from home. We all were awoken early from the sound of crying. Lourdes thinks that breakfast time starts before the sun rises in the morning, and she wasn't taking waiting well this new day. Because the apartment is so cramped when Lourdes is fussy it effects us all, so everyone was up by 6 AM, and that got us all off to a early start. (but later this lack of extra sleep we going to play a large part of my stress). I could tell that Lulu was excited that she gets to show the kids what has and will continue to be a large part of her life. The UCSF clinic is just three or four blocks from our temporary home, so the walk there was only 10 minutes, and we arrived a little early for her radiation appointment. The UCSF team has been so wonderful with sharing the patient experience with our family, the radiation tech gave Carter and Thomas a tour of the machines and how things work. I'm not so sure about the effect of this lesson will have on them, but I could see the positive effect that it was having on their mother. While Lulu was in her 15 minute treatment, I ran the boys to the second floor to meet the breast clinic administration team that has also become a big part of our life's. As always the staff was unbelievably friendly to the boys and it seemed as if time stopped for that brief moment while they interacted with Carter and Thomas. I was proud that my boys were so open and talkative about their life's in Reno, their mom, school, and seeing San Francisco. I couldn't have been prouder of them at that moment. I could only think that just maybe all of the cancer stuff mom is going through is positive effect on the Wilkerson boys?

After we were all reunited with Lulu following her treatment, we wanted to have breakfast in the hospital cafeteria (call us crazy, but the food and the experience has become part of our life's). Surprisingly I have fond feelings for the basement of the UCSF hospital, even though this is the place that I spent crying and praying for Lulu just three months earlier while she was having the cancer removed from her body. I can remember the exact feelings and thoughts I was having during that morning, and these feelings weren't making me sad. Actually, just the opposite, I was feelings grateful for being past that time and that Lulu had made it through the surgery and was on the recovery. I had feelings that border on euphoria, because we all had made it this far, and we were a closer family because we endure it all. (breakfast was good too, of course we gave into the kids insistence on eating doughnuts to start their day).

Walking back to the apartment, I was feeling great about the future of not only Lulu, but also the family. I had a great thing going. How could this all feel so good? Lulu was cheerful, the kids were healthy and happy, I was breaking through the clouds that have been following me, and we were all together. I was even getting alone and even enjoying my mother-in-laws company during the trip. The sun was out and it seemed to be shining on just our family as we walked. I was hoping that the sun would shine on forever!

Alcatraz couldn't have been better! We spent the morning taking a tour of the famed Alcatraz Island Federal penitentiary, everyone really was excited about what there was to learn. (even Hamilton was stimulated by all the interesting things to see).
I wondered how many people come to San Francisco and never experience the "rock"? Just the beautiful view from Alcatraz of the city is worth the admission to the prison, and I spent most of the morning with Lourdes enjoying the view from the warden's front porch as the rest of the family saw how the hardened criminals spent their days. I sure didn't feel like a prison to me that day. I was actually feeling free and liberated. (I guess that knowing I was getting off the island in an hour or so, and not stay for an eternity had sometime to do with it?) I was almost sad while we had to leave, there was just something so peaceful about sitting in the sun and watching the busy City by the Bay from just over a mile away.

The rain began to fall as we arrived in the ferry terminal from Alcatraz Island. And we were to find out that it wasn't planning on stopping for the rest of the afternoon. I was watching the weather closely during the morning, because I was thinking about leaving the city for Reno before "The Big Storm" was forecasted to hit the Sierra Nevada mountains. It looked to me that the storm had arrived in San Francisco, and was soon to make it's way to the mountains just east of us? I told Lulu that I had thought it best if I packed up the boys and headed back to Reno this evening before the biggest part of the storm gets to the mountains. She left me with the final decision, but said that she would like us to stay longer. I knew before we were to make the trek back to Reno, I had to take Carter to Giradelli square for some ice cream. (he had been asking about getting to go there even before we made the trip down last week). So Carter, Hamilton, and I sat watching the ran fall outside the ice cream parlor as we indulged in "cows milk bliss". The rest of the family didn't want to get out of the van, due to the fact that after two or three steps you were drenched from head to toe.

Lulu told me that she was very sad as the boys and I packed up the van for the return trip to Reno. I was only thinking about how tired that I was already and I still had a 5 hour trip in the car ahead of me. I knew from experience that the drive could be much longer and extremely difficult if the snow was falling in the mountains, so i was eager to get on the road. After a lot of hugging, kissing, and I love you's we were on our way home just in time for the rush hour San Francisco traffic (I seemed to have the best timing for gridlock?). By 7 PM we had made our way the over the bay bridge and mostly through the east bay, and had been in the car for 2 hours already. The rain was falling consistently since earlier that day, and it wasn't about to let up even as we travelled further east towards Reno. The rain turned to snow just above Auburn and at first wasn't cold enough to cover the road, but soon as we climbed in elevation that was changing quickly, and the snow was covering the pavement thicker and thicker each mile we completed. Fighting the fatigue and the dangerous driving conditions, we got through to Reno just in time, because I knew that much later I might have been staying on the west side of the past for the night. We arrived safe in the house a little past 11:00 PM, and I had to wake the boys up before retiring to bed. (they sleep through all the snowy excitement and the treacherous driving conditions that challenged their daddy).

The last thing that I thought about before slipping into a deep restful sleep was, how this day had unfolded much like our family's life these last 9 months. Many euphoric highs, new experiences to challenge our learning, and then big stresses and the snowy unknown that you must just press on through no matter how difficult the situation may become. I knew as I fell asleep that I had been put to the test and I felt I had passed with flying colors. I could handle anything!