Fearful of "TOMORROW"

Today I'm grateful for...
Watching the kids grow up everyday
My so beautiful little girl
A wife that feels healthy and productive
Faith

It is the eve of the next big hurtle for my wife. Tomorrow is the day she has the appointment at UCSF for a bone marrow test that will partly determine her future battle with this cancer. She has been keeping herself quite busy in the time since she returned from SF after finishing her radiation treatment. It seems like a million years ago, but she finished the treatment just 2 months ago. This has been a tense couple of days. I know that the gravity of the situation is weighing heavily on her. Just this morning at Sunday mass I caught Lulu in a emotional avalanche, and I was feeling the pain of her thoughts. What was to happen tomorrow, would the procedure be painful, and how would she feel after? But mostly I think that we both are fearing that the test will unveil cancer cells hiding in her bone marrow, waiting for their chance to inflict their terrible mission in Lulu's body of destruction. I think that the only things keeping her from physiological meltdown are the maternal need to be there for her family and the strong pull of her professional career. When facing this or any adversity with life in the balance, one must wonder how far can you be pushed and not fall into despair?

Funny how our life's have changed in this last year? As a positive from all the family challenges, Lulu and I have melted together into one being. Each and everyday we see with a new purpose, and we talk about her being one step closer to putting the cancer behind her. Though the stress of Lourdes premature birth, the 90 days of intensive care before bringing Lourdes home, a breast cancer diagnosis, facing the huge mountain of treatment choices, all the treatments Lulu has endured, financial uncertainty, and a never ending construction lawsuit; we have faced and conquered all these in this last year. Knowing that when you have beat the odds, and are still in the fight, makes all the difference.

I know that all the prayers that have be bestowed onto out family this last year have been heard, and they are allowing us to move forward in this breast cancer battle. Again it's very difficult to say just what all the support has meant to our family, but I what to shout it out, All of your prayers are making the difference. Thank you all so much, and please pray for Lulu tomorrow, that her biopsy goes smooth, and the results are negative to more cancer.