We get the news from the doctors

Today I'm grateful for...
Getting home safely
Spending quality time with my wife
My sister Lori's help
The Holiday spirit

I'm pretty tired after yesterday. I was at the office by 6:15 AM and saw a full schedule of morning patients before Lulu came here and we left for UCSF. The drive to SF when by very quickly. Lulu and I talked about her feelings about the whole cancer thing, and what positive stuff that has come out of this experience. We were in agreement that we both have changed for the better in these last 6 months. We have become more sensitive to each other's emotional needs, and learned to value little things in every day life. We couldn't help but comment on the trees changing color and their beauty during this fall season. We arrived in the parking garage at 3:00 PM, we had made record time (3.5 hours getting here).

I was feeling very confident in the reception room waiting for Lulu to be called back for examination. Weird how I felt because I knew what was a stake with this appointment, would Lulu be cancer free, would she have to have more chemotherapy, more surgery, or worse they hadn't been able to get all the cancer? I was just hoping that the doctors would be on time today, so we didn't have to wait for the results longer then possible? Lulu seemed to be happy, if not a little pensive though? The assistant called Lulu's name at 4:10 PM, and after taking assessment of her post surgery pain, vital signs, and weight, we were shown a examination room. Lulu was to undress from the waist up and lay on the examination table to wait for the doctor. Before the doctors arrived, Lulu wanted to have photos of her upper torso, so I obliged and snapped pictures of the breast drains, bandages, and healing tape that she had on over much of her upper body. As I took the photos I was just praying that under those bandages the cancer was gone?

A few minutes later there was a knock on the examination door and the breast surgeon and the surgical nurse that helped Lulu with pre and post surgery asked to come in (a nice touch over just barging in without knocking or asking whether or not the timing is appropriate). After some of the usually questions were answered by Lulu the bandages were removed to unveil the breasts that had been infiltrated with the cancer cells. When I got a better look, Lulu's breast appeared to me as deflated tires needing a repair and pumped back up with air. Their appearance was what I had remembered of them just they were flat and taped over in the surgical areas. Next the nurse excused herself, and I knew then the prognosis was about to be discussed by the surgeon.

The young woman doctor that had expertly worked on Lulu's infected breasts has really been positive when discussing the details of this disease with us, and today we'd learned was no different. She started by getting right to the issue that was in the forefront of our minds; the cancer. "I believe that in the surgery I got all the cancer from the breasts and the Lymph nodes"? As she continued to explain about the prognosis of the surgery, I became confused. The surgeon mentioned something about the appearance of the cancer; it had a different appearance then expected and the tumors in the right breast had changed shape with the chemotherapy(wider, flatter, and measured 6 CM in width). I wasn't sure what that meant?She didn't seem overly concerned about these findings. The rest of the appointment was about the needed Radiation therapy, when the drains could be removed, and folow up appointments for the long term. These were all clearified between the surgical nurse and Lulu, while I was detacted from the conversation and was thinking about what all this means? Much of what I was thinking about is how far Lulu has come in the process of beating this disease, and how strongly she keep herself during the process? I know that she never had the choice about having breast cancer, but she has made a choice on how to battle it. I couldn't be prouder of the stance she has taken.

We are to return next Friday for the drains to be taken out, and the wounds to be checked.

By the way the "pink support shoes" are giving me strength, and the kids dig them. I thought it was such a great idea, that all the team with be wearing "pink cancer support shoes" starting next week.