Having 4 kids
Being able to spend the day with the family
Getting outside for a walk (even if it was dark)
A warm house (it was very cold today)
On Friday Lulu and I made the scheduled trip to Lourdes' surgeon for a consultation about the scheduled December 10th hernia surgery. We had the ever whiny Hamilton with us for this visit, and let me tell you he was in one of those moods (where he was fussing, or crying about most everything around him), so I was putting out fires and Lulu was trying to concentrate on Lourdes' appointment with the surgeon. After we all were escorted back to an small examination room (one barely large enough for two people and we had two adults and two child), we waited a short time for the Physician assistant to arrive. They weighed Lourdes (she weighed in at a whopping 12.5 pounds), gave her a RSV vaccination, and spent what seems like a lot of time feeling/examining her lower abdomen. We got some really good news. It seems the PA or the surgeon couldn't palpate the hernias today, and they want to wait another 3 to 6 months before seeing Lourdes again for a check-up. I was left wondering if she was going to be able to avoid the surgery altogether? Her little belly is so small, how could they even feel the hernias in the first place? Anyway, I'm not going to be complaining here, because I'm really extremely happy that our family has avoided at least one surgery this year. Lulu and I looked at each other and I could see the surprise in her eyes. I had a smile as big as the grand canyon inside, and I felt a great relief lifting off my shoulders. I wondered could our families fortunes get any better? The good new lately was becoming frequent, and I just hoped that it would hold out for Lulu's cancer surgery on Tuesday?
Tomorrow we'll be packing the bags and traveling down to San Francisco to prepare for the operation week. Lulu has been eerily quite these last few days, and I'm not sure how to respond? I know that I'm nervous about the week ahead, and I'm sure that she thinking about how the trips going to unfold? I've been walking (a 4 mile route) everyday this week. Mostly I want time to think and pray for the success of this next week in SF. I have had nothing but positive thoughts about how it all is to turn out, and I refuse to let doubt creep into my mind. Knowing all the prayers that everyone is bestowing onto Lulu makes me feel great and blessed that we have such a large support group. Lulu is facing this surgery so bravely, and as when she was first diagnosed with this aggressive breast cancer, I'm standing on emotionally shaky ground. I find myself trying to sleep though a lot of these last 4 or 5 days, but my attempts aren't as successful as I'd like? As tired as I've been lately, I don't feel like I've had a good night's sleep for 4 months now? (having a new premature infant isn't helping either). This is going to be a trying week; Lulu having the surgery, being away from the boys for 5 or 6 days, getting the results of the surgery diagnosis, staying in a bed that's not my own, sharing a temporary home with my sister-in-law Doris, and being the main nurturer for Lourdes while Lulu recovers. I just pray that I can be the atlas upon all the stress can be supported? I'm just so glad that my back is feeling strong!!!
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