I arrived at the NICU unit as soon as I was done with patients at the office. Lulu was with Baby Lourdes. We tried to avoid the subject of Lulu's possible breast cancer, and focus of the health of the baby.
Since the previous day's chest x-ray showed cloudy formations in the lungs. We learned that this was referred to as "wetness in the lungs". We understood from the respiratory therapist this lung condition was more than likely caused by the medications that were given yesterday to close the opening in her heart? So she was being given a diuretic to clear the water from her lungs. The nurses and the doctors assured us that these were normal for a now 27 week premature infant. I just remembering thinking how they could be so positive about all the things happening to Lourdes? After this news, being tried from a busy day at the office, I just tuned out further information being sent my way.
I looked at Lulu and saw her being so strong for just being diagnosed with a serious illness. Her strength made me cry. How did she dare to be so strong. We had a understanding that I was the level headed, strong, un-emotiona l husband, and she was suppose to be the emotional wife. I just wanted at that moment for it all to go away. Lulu was comforting me, huggling me, and I felt so emotionally weak at that moment. Way can't she just cry a drop, something to let me know that she was just as scared as I? We just embraced, no words were needed. I never wanted to let go, she made me feel that it was all going to be ok. Tomorrow was a big day, Lulu was to have the mammogram and ultrasound done by the radiologist. Could I make it to tomorrow? I had to regain the strength that I once possessed.
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