We see the breast cancer specialist

We made it here to the breast cancer specialist by 2:45. The traffic was light and we made good time. Not once did the subject of Lulu's possible diagnosis come up during the 4 1/2 hours. I'm not sure that I was happy about that fact or not. I kind of wanted to talk about it, but I decided that I would only talk about the subject when she brought it up. I kind of figured that there was no reason to talk about it when there was a chance that the diagnosis was wrong at this point?

The breast cancer specialist office was much smaller then I had expected. You can tell that he is very thorough, caring, maybe a little old doctor from the articles and decor of his office? He got us into an examination room within 10 minutes after Lulu filled out numerous forms (Lulu keep saying that she's starting to see what being on the other side of healthcare looks like from the patients prospective). Once in the examination room, we waited for a seemed like longer then you would expect when you don't see any other patients in the office? Maybe he was consulting on the phone or writing patient notes in charts, anyway my mind raced to how in my experiences patients will tolerate (occasionally complaining) being seen 1 hour later then their scheduled appointment time? Lulu and I commented to each other on the decor and the age of the examination table (I think that I read the manufacture date as 10/1974, but couldn't be sure because the numbers were worn I could barely read them). I was impressed by the Princess Diana collage hanging behind the examination table, and learned a few facts that I never knew before. The room wasn't made for three adults, so I was thinking about were I should be when the doctor finally arrives? Was this small size designed this way on purpose, so husbands felt unwelcome? I choose my spot just in time as the doctor made a graceful entrance. (I took the corner behind Lulu, so not to make her feel uncomfortable when the doctor was to examine her breasts).

I had to remind myself of that saying, "Don't judge a book by the cover", as Lulu and I found the doctor to be quite likable, competent, and compassionate (though he was about the age that I had expected him to be). He sat and asked many questions, writing the answers down so we could see them as he wrote. I thought to myself, nice touch. He got a thorough medical and personal history. Then only after 25 minutes of listening and writing did he ask Lulu to put on the gown and get onto the table so he could do a breast examination.

The doctor spent another 10 minutes examining both of Lulu's breasts and the all areas of possible lymph nodes. He was very experienced at doing this and it showed. When he had finished, he excused himself as he explained that he would like to go study the ultrasound and the mammograms that we had brought with us to him. He said that he would return in 5 minutes or so.

After 15 minutes we were getting more concerned with each passing second, and only after we had really wondered whether or not he was even coming back, he re-entered with that look. He didn't have to speak to us, just the stressed look and stiffness to his demeanor we knew what the diagnosis was to be. I'm going to share the conversation that was shared as closely as I remember, because I think it will show the quality of health care we felt we were receiving.

"I have examined the ultrasound and the mammogram taken in Reno, and I would like to talk to you about my thoughts on what we know at this time (he sat very close to Lulu at eye level and used his pad of paper to emphasize the importance of his findings). You have a mass that is about 2.3 cm in size that appears to be fixed to your chest wall. In my experience, because of the location, appearance, presentation, and size of this mass I very concerned that it is malignant. I would like you to have a Ultrasound guided biopsy, chest/abdominal CT scan, a Bone scan, and a genetic test to determine whether or not you are a carrier of the gene for this cancer type. I would like to have the results of these tests by Friday afternoon, so I can best determine what course of treatment to give you? Even without the results of these test, I would like to get you in my surgery schedule for a full right breast mastectomy with lymph node removal for July 10!"

He went on to explain about the surgery, the reasons for the addition test, Chemotherapy and how that would look. We both felt that he was both professional and thorough with his diagnosis, but it was the urgency and the look in this face that frightened us. This was the point that I recall thinking, "At what point will the Molina-Wilkerson family get some good news?

Honestly I can't remember the rest of the appointment. All I know is that Lulu stayed in the office for another 20 minutes and I when to the restroom to breakdown and cry.