How old am I?

Today I'm thankful for...
Everything that I have
That I have good friends
Baby Lourdes being closer to coming home
Losing 10 pounds in 60 days

In case anyone was wondering how the Coke habit was going for me? I have to report that I haven't had any drink that's over 40 calories (I've been consuming mostly Synergy, and sparkling water) for over two months now? I'm also shedding some pounds along the way. I didn't know how bed my diet really was until I started cutting out most red meats, fattening foods, and sugary drinks. I really don't miss any of these!

I'm three years older then Lulu, but many times through the years we've had people think that I'm a "cradle robber". What do they call the older women that date much young men, "Cougars". I guess that people thought I was a "Man Cougar". I think that people assumed that Lulu was attracted to my families wealth and fame (Wilkinson blades), but their is no really monetary wealth in my family and my last name is Wilkerson; not Wilkinson, so she didn't marry me for that. The first trip that I accompanied Lulu to Puerto Rico to meet her family, most everyone believed that I was at least 50 (I was 29 years at the time, 1994) The gray hair had always been a big plus for me (as a young dentist people trusted me more, I didn't have to show ID to buy alcohol, and gray hair attracts the women, well sometimes), and I think for the Puerto Rican culture being much older then your wife is seen as the woman marrying a secure, mature person. People were very surprised that Lulu and I were 3 years apart in age!

Lulu's been receiving a truckload of well wishing cards, gifts, and calls. I know that she (as I am) is overwhelmed by the outpouring of support for her, and daily she speaks of her gratitude for the friends, colleagues, and family the she has. Not just locally here in Reno, but all over the country. As or her chemotherapy treatment; she has been telling me that she feels really good, and rarely has nausea these last 3 to 4 days. (Just in time for the next round of chemotherapy). I think that we both feel blessed that the treatment has been tolerable for her, and also that the treatment has been helping to reduce the size of the three tumors in her right breast. We've talked about how much we're looking forward to the oncologist's report on her tumor status this trip down to SF. The examination of her breasts was very promising two weeks ago at the last visit, were praying for good news this trip also?

We're leaving tomorrow for SF in the PM (after we pick Carter up from UNR basketball camp, and after we go to the NICU and feed Lourdes). All the kids are coming along, and we will be meeting Lulu's sister Doris and her daughter there. We want the older kids to see why and where we have been traveling every two weeks. I think that the experience will be very good for them to better understand that their mom is sick and she needs to get medications to make her better. If we cold have, we would of asked for mommy's diagnosis later, so the kids were older and could understand their mother's condition clearer, but we didn't really have that choice. Most days I'm still in disbelief that my young, lovely wife of 40 years has this disease that could potentially take her life, but when those thoughts cross my mind, I look at her strength and know that she'll make everything alright? Kind of like a child looking to their mother for reassurance and strength when faced with adversity. I rarely catch Lulu in a weak moment, and I find my self amazed by her determination (if it were me, I would be full of self pity and loathing). Sometimes I find myself full of guilt as I think about my wife's breast cancer as a gift from God to me to help me become a better, more caring, and loving person and husband? Of course, I just wish that it wasn't all true; take it back, the cancer, the chemotherapy, the future surgery(s), the long term complications of her condition, but I've gotten past the why phase, and I have moved into the how can I learn to be that "Go The Extra Step", or like we strive for at the office "Go Beyond Expectations" person?

Lulu and I have been stepping up the frequency of visits to see Lourdes at St. Mary's. The green room is different from the other rooms that Lourdes has been in in the last 62 days of NICU. We feel that the attention is less intense here? I relate the whole experience being similar to a impressionable child going from half day kindergarden class to first grade, and the teacher they get is different everyday. (sorry all you educators reading this but the transition from kindergarden to 1st can be quite traumatic?) Lourdes is taking a bottle (feeding from a nipple) every three hours and is drink the whole thing often (about 50 ml). I hope that it will be soon she can join the family at home? I think about how we would be holding her whenever we want, hear her cry all night long, and change those dirty diapers. Wow, did I just say that I was looking forward to all that? You can tell that she's missed dearly in the Molina-Wilkerson household. Soon she be released, but we haven't been told a date as of today? All your prayers have helped pull Lourdes though those scary, difficult, and faith testing days; we can't thank all of you enough!!!! Let those same powerful prayers help Lulu with this breast cancer battle?

As a side note; the caringbridge website allows 50 some photos to be downloaded on the journal. I have posted 40 some, so you'll notice I will be deleting some of the pictures from months ago, and adding new ones. If you would like a specific picture, I can always attach them to an email. Just let me know what picture and your address I can send it to? (I will probably keep I ones of me bald, because I know that everyone needs to laugh occasionally).

I hope to make a difference in one person life tomorrow, and if I can be that life changing person for someone everyday, I have lived a fulfilling life! A quote from Randy Pausch from The Last Lecture, "ALWAYS BE A TIGGER, TIME IS ALL WE HAVE".