I kidnapped Lourdes

Today I'm grateful for...
Not having to wash my hair in the morning
A beautiful wife with or without hair
My back holding up under the stress
Great friends bringing over scrumptious meals

Tonight I almost kidnapped my own daughter. I went to be with Lourdes (I've dropped the Baby Lourdes part, she just seems so big that the term doesn't fit her anymore) this evening. It was a night of holding, feeding with bottle, taking temperature, and changing her diaper. The holding was just as wonderfully great as yesterday, but the feeding didn't work out so well (Lourdes just didn't get the eating and breathing at the same time thing, but she did eat a couple of cc's for me), I'm a pro at getting her temperature (it was 98.5 degrees tonight), and she didn't poop for me, so I had a easy time with the diaper change. I was a little disappointed that she wasn't a big eater tonight, but what could I expect it was only her third day learning the technique. I did get to see Lourdes without all the blankets wrapping her up, and she looked so pretty and I could really see features of her mom. (the thought popped into my head that in a day or so Lourdes was going to have more hair then mom).

As I sat with my cute little girl in my lap, I started thinking about just getting up and walking out of the NICU with her bundled in my arms. I not sure that I'm going to make another 4 weeks waiting for her the come home? I figured that they have 20 more babies here in the intensive care facility, they probably aren't going to miss this one? My thoughts drifted to how when she was home with us we could hold her whenever we wanted and snuggle her little head in our hands. I was reminiscing about the first time we brought home our first baby Carter from the same NICU at St. Mary's almost 9 years ago. Carter was a full term baby, and was diagnosed with a Pneumothorax within hours after he was born. I remember leaving him and Lulu to go home and rest, shower, change clothes (after staying at the hospital and being awake for close to 48 hours) I needed the time to wash up and recharge before returning to be with mom and the new baby. But when I returned I saw that Carter wasn't in the nursery where I had left him 4 hours earlier. I didn't know what to think? Was I so tired that I was looking in the wrong place? Did Lulu have Carter in her postpartum room? I went to Lulu and she informed me that Carter had this condition called a pneumothorax and that he needed a special oxygen unit to help him breath. He had been taken to the intensive care unit. I didn't even know that there was such thing, but I was soon to find out how important this part of the hospital was to be for his recovery. Most of this event was a blur to me, but I do remember the extraordinary care that he receive in those four days. I also know how great Carter is as a son. He's healthy and strong. So Lourdes, I know, will follow in those brotherly footsteps.

I was thinking how in the first night that Lourdes gets to be in our home, we are going to put in the bed between Lulu and I and stay awake the whole night watching her as she's sleeping peacefully. Not being able to take our eyes off this precious gift, and praying that everyday from that day on; will be just as special as this first night? (this is exactly what we did with Carter that very first night he was home). I dreamt about the first bath in the sink, the first time the boys get to hold her, and even about that first dirty diaper that we get to change in our own house. I was even looking forward to those sleepless nights. Staying up most of the night, because she was colicky or needed my or Lulu's warm embrace to comfort her back to sleep. Isn't this what it's all about? Everyone says that Lourdes is going to be spoiled? Especially being the only girl. I'm sure that they're probably right, but so are all of our kids. We spoil them all with lots of attention, love, nurturing, and candy or soda on special occasions. I can't wait to get my opportunity to spoil, "our gift sent from God".

I made a dinner stop tonight at home before making the trip to the hospital to see Lourdes. I got to eat a superb dinner (thank you), play with the boys, and hug the gorgeous wife . Lulu's been having some issues with this last chemotherapy dosage she got last Friday. She suggested to me that she feels a lot more nauseous these last few days then with the first doses, but she hasn't thrown up. The pain in her bones seems to be the biggest discomfort factor to her? (aside from the hair loss). As I left for the office this morning, Lulu came to me and as we hugged, she said that by me shaving my head bald, gave her strength to free the last bits of her hair. She also admitted that she loved me for my uncanny ability to anticipate her needs during this emotional and physical battle. I love to get affirmation (as we all do) as that I'm making a difference in her life. I'm finding with some simple changes in my actions, I can change someone else's world! I started to daydream about; why can't we all do this?