I go bald for Lulu

Today I'm grateful for...
My family
Being able to make choices in life
Having healthy kids
Feeding Lourdes from a bottle


I'm at peaceful feeling in my life. I've found my life's priorities. Anything not on the list just isn't going to bring me down. I know (not necessarily in any specific order) that these things matter to me, and I plan to prioritize my life around them.

1. My families health (I'll include me in here). 2. My faith in the teaching of the church 3. My relationships (with Lulu, my children, my immediate family, and   my friends).  There's not anything as important as these three things in my life, so   I pledge to address these first.  If I have time or energy left after the above   priorities are fulfilled; I can work on other areas of my life.  So I did it!  I got my head shaved.  I have to admit I was worried   before the first pass of the clippers hit my head.  I haven't looked at my   head, but I been getting compliments on the new look (right after the   shock wears off) from the team at the NICU at St. Mary's.  I'm not sure
that I really care what I look like, it's not me that has been battling the
cancer?  I just hope that by doing this I can alleviate Lulu's apprehension
over her hair loss?  I'm surprised how much the loss of her hair has been
affecting her moral. She came out of the bathroom this morning before
church mass and had her hands extended, plams up, there was large amounts
of hair dangling
from her fingers.  But I could just see the anguish written on her face! I
shrugged my shoulders as to say what did you think was going to happen?
I knew today was the day to trim the gray locks that have been residing on
my head since I was in my early 20's.  She needed to know that I
was to support her in this trying time. It's kind of refreshing to try something
so different. After the "supercuts" trim, I was off to the hospital to give Lourdes
the bottle.  Maybe she would eat for me today better then yesterday?

I couldn't wait to get home and see the reaction Lulu would have to my bald
head; now that I was going to be her bald twin in a day or two?  But I really wanted to
hold the little girl for a few hours first.  As I first saw her today, I just swelled
with pride.  She was looking so good and even bigger then yesterday.
And yesterday I was informed that she was given the lower flow 02 (that had
been tried a few weeks ago).  Her oxygen levels stayed up for the whole two
hours, and I got her to eat 4 or 5 cc of mommy's milk today. I was daydreaming
about her coming home and living amongst the Wilkerson tribe. How much she
would change our routine and what would be the effect of her presence on
Lulu's cancer treatments? We were going to figure it all out.  I was hopeful
that she was to be coming home before the September 1st. due date?

When I got home tonight at 7:00, I walked in the kitchen wondering just
how everyone would accept me?  Would my look be frightening to Hamilton?
Would Lulu think this was "over the top"?  I was proud of myself for making
this small sacrifice for her benefit. My head feels so cool and breezy. I just
might want to keep it this way?  Thomas was the first to run to me for a kiss.
He stopped in his tracts to scrutinize the new daddy J. He said, "dad what
happened to your hair, it got cut off.  Then Hamilton picked up on the new look
and started repeating, "you're hairs gone, you're hairs gone" (he's talking so
clearly and his vocabulary is quite extensive for a 2.5 year old).  But I think
the act really surprised Lulu the most. She claimed, "you didn't need to do
that for me".And she gave me the biggest bear huge that I've had for the last day
or so (were hugging so much I can't keep track of the biggest, longest, or best
anymore). I could feel the love for me in her embrace and we had to be pulled
apart by the kids slipping in between us. Now I still have to make it through
the first day in the office. Will the kids at the office freak out by the boldness
of my head?  Will the parents think that I'm sick too? How will the Dental team
at the office react? All I can control is the fact that I'm happy that I have done
this, and I'm secure and confident in  myself no matter what appearance I take!