Our first date

Today I'm grateful for...
Playing with Hamilton alone
Having wonderful friends help with dinners
Feeling that peace of love in my life
Going to work (oops, play) with great parents and patients

As I left the office today at 1:30 PM and made the drive to St. Mary's, I was counting the number of days in a row that I've been there (besides a couple a few days for Lulu's chemotherapy appointments in SF, it's been 74 days and counting). The NICU has been the only home that Lourdes has known, and a second home for Lulu and I. As monotonous as this sounds, we really gotten to enjoy our time alone with Lourdes. As anyone with children knows, it's hard to find alone time with just one child at a time. Lourdes gets our undivided attention everyday. I pretty sure that she won't appreciate this fact when she comes home, but I can tell you that I'm extremely happy that we got this chance.

This afternoon I was looking though some pictures from ages ago, and I came up with the idea of sharing past experiences in this blog to give all a personal look into Lulu and my life's. (kind of like the sharing of important events happening in the world idea from earlier in the journal, just more personal).

Lulu despised me after our first date! It was spring 1993 when we went on our first date. But before I get to the part about her hating me; I want to give you a little back ground on how we met. We had known each other through friends while I was teaching part-time at the university (The Ohio State University), and she was a resident in the pediatric dentistry program at Columbus children's hospital. We would see each other at parties, night clubs, and other social events frequently. I actually knew her sister fairly well before I ever met Lulu (her sister was a year or two behind me in the dental program and we talked occasionally). I knew that Lulu and her sister were living together in a small apartment near the university while each finished their educations, and I never thought about dating Lulu before that grim friday night that she and I clashed.

I was part of a dental fraternity and we had a spring formal dance fast approaching and I didn't have a date. I thought that Lulu was very attractive, professional, and hopefully available, so I picked up the phone and dialed her number thinking that she was most likely going to be busy on such short notice. I think my call surprised her, because we never really spent much time talking in the past and didn't know much about each other. (this is one of the only times in my life I remember cold calling someone for a date, normally I got to know the women that I dated before I asked them out). Even though I could hear hesitation in her voice, she accepted my offer to accompany me to this formal event. So we finalized the details of the night, and after I got off the phone, I remember thinking how nervous I was already becoming even two weeks prior to the date.

The day of the farmal came very quickly, and I didn't even own a sport coat and rarely did i wear a tie. I had to borrow clothes from a housemate for the formal night. I also didn't own a car, so a fraternity brother had to provide the transportation. (I never owned a car until a year after dental school). We arrived at Lulu's apartment to pick her up, and I knew that I was going with the most beautiful girl that would be attending the party. She was wearing a bright dress that accented her sexy body and wonderful dark skin and hair. I really thought that we weren't compatible as a couple, but that made me want to pursue her all the more? During the evening I drank way too much alcohol and as was told to me the next day, I ignored Lulu the whole evening. (I guess that explained why I woke up the next morning with lipstick and eye liner drawn all over my face in a haphazardly way). As it turned out, I had asked every girl at the party to dance with me except Lulu, and she ended up quite annoyed with me by night's end, and took out this anger with her lipstick pen and eye liner pencil on my snoozing face during the drive home?

I guess that I must have felt very remorseful, because after letting her cool off for a week or so, i called her up for another date. (I told her that she missed a couple of areas on my face last time, and I wanted her to have another chance to complete the project). To my utter surprise she accepted my offer, and we were to go out the next weekend. This date was so much better then the first one. We went to a wings joint in German village and a movie at the dollar theather (the body guard with Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner and yes it was only one dollar), I wore a blue tie white large white polka dots on it (I think that I just discarded a fews years ago?), she wore a medium length blue dress with flats (I found out the flats were so she wouldn't be taller then me. Lulu's 5'10" and I'm 6', so she couldn't wear these 3" pumps she liked to wear at that time). We talked a lot about how different our backgrounds were. She was from a tightly knit Puerto Rican family with three sisters, and I was from a Californian family that rarely talked and I was raised mostly as a only child. She had been faithfully taught in the catholic religion, and i was a loosely held together by the episcopal faith. Lulu loved to buy, wear certain fashions, and I thought that fashion was wearing clean clothes everyday. You all have heard of the statement, "opposites attract"; I think you definitely say that this was the case between us! This as much as anything attracted me to her. Little did I know that these differences would be what has keep us together these 15 years. I want to learn more about our differences, so we can become even closer.

I had forgotten these early days of dating, but if you were to ask Lulu the details she could tell you every last thing that happen and when it happened what we were wearing. Just another example of how we are so dissimilar. I can barely remember what happen yesterday. Wouldn't it be nice to stop to think about what brought you together with that special person in your life (a mom, dad, wife, husband), and how you fell in love with them? You might even rekindle some of that compassion that brought you together in those first days?

For Lulu, hug someone each and everyday. (maybe someone that you wouldn't normally hug), and watch the your world become closer. This is one of the best things I have learned from being with Lulu for these short 15 years.

Oh, and as you can see I refreshed the background. Keeps you from eye fatigue? Thanks again for the support and prayers, we need all your love!!!!